PARODY: McCartney apologizes for “Freedom.”

A friend of mine and I were just talking about this song a few days ago.  He’s not even American….I love it when parody has so much truth.  Nicely done.  I needed a good laugh today.  The sidebars that are on the original page are hillarious.  Check them out.  Here’s the main article though.

NOTE: This is a parody, please do not send me e-mails complaining that this is true.  It’s a parody.

New York — Giving in to public pressure, singer and composer Paul McCartney issued a statement on Monday, apologizing to the progressive artistic community for his “pro-American lyrics and compulsive right-wing behavior” in the days immediately following the 9/11 attacks in New York City, when he organized Concert For New York and performed the “ill-conceived” patriotic song called Freedom. “I don’t know what came over me,” says McCartney, 64, who was widely criticized by peace activists as a “pro-war Beatle” for writing and singing a jingoistic tune containing such lines as “I will fight for the right to live in freedom. ” In his statement, McCartney acknowledges that he had been experiencing “right-wing sentiments” for several weeks following 9/11. “Please know from my heart that I am not a patriot. I am not a even an American,” he said.

According to ACLU sources, on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, McCartney was on a plane at the JFK airport when his flight was grounded due to terror alert, the ACLU release said. The moment he saw the World Trade Center collapse, the ex-Beatle launched into a profanity-laced tirade, hurling openly pro-American, jingoistic, and patriotic statements at the skies. After that co-author of “All You Need Is Love” and many other politically correct songs canceled his tour and unilaterally organized a benefit for the 9/11 victims, as opposed to the rest of the progressive musicians and community leaders who collectively and unanimously responded to the attack by renewed efforts to overthrow the oppressive Bush regime in the US.

“Now I realize that there is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of pro-American sentiment,” McCartney said in a statement issued by his publicist. “I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the progressive community for the vitriolic and harmful song that I wrote and performed to an audience of New York firefighters, police, and rescue workers after 9/11.”

It was during that performance that Thought Police were alerted by their radar that McCartney’s pro-American sentiments went way above the posted limit, according to a news release from the New York branch of the ACLU dated September 2001. When the ACLU lawyers approached McCartney they smelled ” Jefferson and the Bill of Rights” on his breath, and a Thoughtcrime test showed that his pro-American content was 0.9, while the New York legal limit is 0.001.

“My pro-Americanism was a moment of temporary insanity,” the embattled author of Let It Be said. “I am grateful to the Party, my fellow musicians, and members of the coalition of progressive movements for apprehending me before I caused injury to the Greater Good™ and had my artistic license revoked. I apologize to the artists and musicians who have always been there for me in my community and indeed probably saved me from myself. Especially I would like to apologize to heroic officers of Thought Police whose tireless promotion of the Greater Good™ has helped to create the perfectly uniform climate of artistic expression that we all enjoy today.”

“I used to write together with John Lennon, and when I do a song about politics, my words carry weight in the public arena,” McCartney said. “As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my actions and apologize directly to those who have been hurt by those lyrics, especially to Billie, Mike and Tre of Green Day whose profound award-winning song ‘American Idiot‘ I so carelessly jeopardized with my inane blather about freedom. Perhaps if I had responded to 9/11 by writing ‘American Idiot’ myself, I would not be in this situation today,” said the author of Yesterday, adding that he has “suffered from the disease of freedom-loving” all his adult life, especially while writing Blackbird, and that he profoundly regrets his “horrific relapse” five years ago.

“After my mistakes have been pointed out to me I understand that I shouldn’t have ever written that freedom is ‘a right given by God,’ and instead of ‘I will fight for the right to live in freedom’ I should’ve written ‘I will negotiate for the right to live in freedom,’ or ‘I will rely on the United Nations for the right to live in freedom,”‘ the ex-Beatle said.

“I have disgraced myself by writing that song in my inebriated right-wing state and have already taken necessary steps to ensure my return to progressive conformity,” McCartney said, announcing that he is embarking on an “ongoing self-criticism program” to battle his relapsed rationality and wants to meet with progressive leaders to help him “discern the appropriate path for healing.”

“I am in the process of understanding where those vicious freedom-loving words came from, and I am asking the progressive community, whom I have personally offended with my pro-Americanism, to help me on my journey through recovery,” the statement continued. “I know there will be many in that community who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable.”

McCartney denied his apology was meant to limit any career damage. “It’s about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad,” he said.

Source: The People’s Cube


4 Responses


  2. Meh. Wasn’t very funny. Now, someone should write a parody where he apologizes for this just being a really crappy song (no matter WHAT the lyrics are about!)

  3. Some idiot on You Tube just posted this as a true article. When I exposed it as a joke, he got all mad. He also goes around posting hateful things about Paul all the time. Seriously, the guy is obsessed

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